The Top 10 Signs Your Broker Was Affected by the Stock Market Crash
"He can't come to the phone right now..he's on the ledge."
"He won't be in today...he was made an offer and he refused."
"He left the building and not via the elevator..if you catch my drift."
"I'm sorry, sir..she's not in...she's out digging up your can as we speak."
There's a sign on her desk that says "Next Broker Please."
"He's on another line with his Mommy..would you care to hold?"
"No sir, that wasn't him streaking through the Stock Exchange"
"He's meeting with the SEC as we speak."
"I'm sorry, ma'am but that was him being led from the Stock Exchange naked except for the sale tickets stuck to his body via maple syrup."
"Yes sir, that is him in the White Bronco leading the cops down the freeway."
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Good to be French
op reasons why it's great to be French
Yet to experience the joy of winning the world cup for the first time
You get to eat insect food like snails and frog's legs
If there's a war you can surrender really early
You don't have to read the subtitles on those late night films on Channel 4.
You can test your own nuclear weapons in other people's countries
You can be ugly and still become a famous film star
Allow Germans to march up and
down your most famous street humiliating your sense of national pride
People think you're a great lover even when you're not
Signs your burned out
"Top Ten Signs You Are 'Burned Out' Because of Work"
You're so tired you now answer the phone, "Hell."
Your friends call to ask how you've been, and you immediately scream, "Get off my back, jerk!"
Your garbage can IS your "in" box.
You wake up to discover your bed is on fire, but go back to sleep because you just don't care.
You have so much on your mind, you've forget often how to think.
Visions of the upcoming weekend help you make it through ...er.... Monday.
You sleep more at work than at home.
You leave for a party and instinctively take your ID badge.
Your Day Timer exploded a week ago.
You think about how relaxing it would be if you were in jail right now.
Top Valujet slogans
Top Twenty New Slogans for Valuejet Airlines
ValueJet: When you just can't wait for the world to come to you.
ValueJet: We're Amtrak with wings.
Join our frequent near-miss program.
On flights, every section is a smoking section.
Ask about our out-of-court settlements.
Our staff has had lots of experience consoling next-of-kin.
Are our jet engines too noisy? Don't worry. We'll turn them off.
Complimentary champagne during free-fall.
Enjoy the in-flight movie in the plane next to you.
The kids will love our inflatable slides.
You think it's so easy, get your own plane!
Which will fall faster, our stock price or our planes?
Our pilots are all terminally ill and have nothing to lose.
ValueJet: We may be landing on your street.
ValueJet: Terrorists are afraid to fly with us.
Bring a bathing suit.
Some airlines are content to fly thousands of feet over landmarks. We try to get as close as possible for the best view.
That guy who crashed into the White House was one of our best pilots.
Fly ValueJet. Find out there really is a God.
ValueJet: A real man lands where he wants to.
Good to be American
Top ten reasosn why it's great to be American
You can have a woman president without electing her
You can spell colour wrong and get away with it
You can call Budweiser beer
You can be a crook and still be president
If you've got enough money you can get elected to do anything
If you can breathe you can get a gun
You can invent a new public holiday every year
You can play golf in the most hideous clothes ever made and nobody seems to care.
You get to call everyone you've never met "buddy"
You can think you're the greatest nation on earth.
You can get a pizza within minutes of ordering.
